Honeymoon Phase: How to Calculate How Long It’ll Last for You Both
Have you ever asked the question – how long does the honeymoon phase last? This stage of a relationship is always exciting, but it doesn’t last forever.
Think back to the very beginning of your relationship. How you couldn’t help but smile when you saw them. How you always laughed and joked together with ease. How you had nothing but joy for them. All those mushy, gushy feelings are what we like to call the honeymoon phase. But how long does the honeymoon phase last?
What is the honeymoon phase?
Generally, we fall in “love” with someone, and sometimes, it’s even love at first sight. So what happens next?
You put on your best behavior, you woo them, you find their jokes extra funny, and you think they’re the most beautiful or sexiest thing that walked on two legs. You give it your all to impress them, and chances are, they’re doing the same for you as well!
This exact feeling or stage of the relationship is known as the honeymoon phase. It’s the first phase of any romantic relationship when two people first start falling in love with each other. It’s more of an infatuation that’s based on attraction and lust, rather than love.
But why is it called the honeymoon phase?
Well, that’s because this phase of romance is like the honeymoon *first vacation* of a marriage. And this part of falling in love is considered to be the happiest phase of a relationship, where nothing can go wrong, no arguments, and no unhappy moments – everything is just rosy, perfect, and blissful!
Does this honeymoon phase have to end?
Let’s get to this straight away before we go any further.
This particular phase in a relationship is the most exciting and loved-up time of a new romantic relationship. You’re always happy, anxious, excited, and dreamy, and nothing ever gets you down. You enjoy every moment with them, and you never even fight. It seems perfect. But relationships can’t stay like that.
Why not? Because the honeymoon phase is not real. Instead of giving and taking in equal parts, the honeymoon stage is all about giving in endlessly instead of compromising *because you’re both smitten!*.
The honeymoon phase has to come to an end at some point and when it does, you’ll need some help.
While the honeymoon phase seems perfect and too good to be true, you need to remember that it doesn’t often last very long. This is why they say the strength of a relationship is based on its ability to surpass this particular stage.
Generally, the honeymoon stage lasts anywhere from a month or a year *or more* depending on several factors that play a big part in keeping things fresh and exciting. We’ll get to these factors in a bit.
Why do we even have a honeymoon phase?
Now that we know what this fun phase is, why the hell does it even exist? Sure, we know that we’re always giddy because it’s new and exciting, but that isn’t enough to warrant an entire phase of a relationship, is it?
The truth is, it has to do with chemicals in your brain and also the way you carry yourself.
On one hand, you have all those feel-good hormones rushing through your brain making you happy. But on the other hand, you’re also on your best behavior. You don’t want to risk saying the wrong thing or messing up a relationship before it has even begun.
The honeymoon phase feels like the most magical thing in the world because everything feels new and like uncharted territory. The same way you get excited when you get a brand new pair of shoes or phone, the same concept applies to a relationship – 100x more, of course!
But the more important question is, how long does the honeymoon phase last, and what are the signs that it’s begun to fade away?
Is it game over when a honeymoon phase ends?
No, not necessarily. If anything, everyone starts to realize that this is the real relationship the moment the honeymoon phase ends. Why?
It’s easy for a relationship to work in the honeymoon phase. After all, it’s the phase where all the butterflies and romance feel most alive.
You see your partner with rose-tinted eyes as if they could do no wrong. But once this stage ends, that’s when your relationship settles into a warm and secure love.
When you no longer feel the butterflies in your stomach, do you still feel the love? Do you still choose to stay?
If what you have is real, the end of the honeymoon phase shouldn’t depict the end of your story – it should represent the beginning of true love. So you really shouldn’t fear the honeymoon phase ending, but you should look forward to the excitement being replaced with feelings of warmth and comfort.
How long does the honeymoon phase last?
And the next thing we need to address is how long would this overly sweet phase last specifically for you? When do all the fun times come to a screeching halt?
Truth be told, it’s a little more complicated than just a single number. And it’s not exactly something that stops all that suddenly.
As we said above, it generally lasts anywhere between a month to a year.
But in order to determine just how long the honeymoon phase will last for you, you really have to know your relationship. But we can help you figure out just about how long it’ll last for you and your new beau.
Some relationships take longer for the honeymoon phase to pass than others. So really, it depends on your relationship. Being prepared for the timeframe it lasts helps you understand your relationship better.
How to know for sure just how long the honeymoon phase lasts
Relationships aren’t all the same. Depending on the way you and your significant other interact together, it could change how long you’re in such a happy state. These questions can help you determine how long your honeymoon phase will last.
1. How long were you talking before you became committed?
This may not seem like a huge deal, but it does play a role in how long your honeymoon phase will last.
Truth be told, if you two have been seeing each other for a long time before making your relationship official, the phase might be shorter because you’ve already been in it – despite not being committed yet.
So if you’ve already been flirting and talking before becoming exclusive, that’s a factor if you’re asking – how long does the honeymoon phase last?
2. How comfortable are you with them?
The honeymoon phase ending is all about familiarity, security, and comfort. Do you still get really nervous whenever you go see them, or have you settled into a kind of comfort with them?
This makes a big difference in how long the honeymoon phase will last, because normally when you become more comfortable around them, you act more like yourself and less like a giddy child with a crush.
The moment you find yourself without the need to put your best foot forward all the time and more like yourself, that’s when this phase is about to end.
3. How integrated into their life are you?
Do you go to all of their family functions and events with their friends? If so, the honeymoon phase will end soon.
When you begin to be included in all aspects of their life, you’ll get to see all of the good, the bad, and the ugly. This halts the honeymoon phase.
When your social circles are constantly colliding, this is a sign that you’re getting comfortable with one another. The fact that you include one another in each other’s lives means the excitement and giddy feelings are about to transform into a more calmer kind of love.
4. How often do you see them?
Are you with them every day, or do you go a few days to a week in between visits?
If you don’t see them as often, the honeymoon phase will last much longer than if you see them daily. When you separate your time with them, you don’t get to further your relationship as quickly, making your honeymoon phase more drawn out.
But if you see one another frequently, maybe you’re coworkers or you live within the neighborhood, expect that the honeymoon phase won’t last very long.
5. Where is your physical relationship at?
This is really important. Depending on how physical the two of you are, it can change the length of your honeymoon phase. When you’re really quick to get physical or have sex, it’ll be much shorter because you’ll exhaust all of those new feelings of wild passion and lust.
But if you take longer and delay sexual gratification, that excitement lasts a long time. If you both take much longer to break the touch barrier and to be physically affectionate and intimate with one another, the honeymoon phase will generally last much longer.
6. Are you in it for the butterflies only?
All relationships start with butterflies in the stomach when we meet someone we’re dating or in love with. It’s natural to feel this way for a while, especially when you’re just getting to know each other.
However, ask yourself if you’re willing to go beyond your relationship, past the butterflies in your stomach.
Some people like the experience of falling in love, a.k.a. the honeymoon phase, but get bored by calm love. So if you want to know if your honeymoon phase is ending, ask yourself if you’re starting to get bored.
7. Do you still feel insecure?
During a couple’s honeymoon phase, there are many times when you feel secure and loved. It would even seem like you’re living the dream with your lover. But after that phase, you’d go back to normal and won’t experience the high or flutter of lust anymore.
Initially, the insecurity of your relationship keeps you on a high, even if it scares you. But how do you feel now? Do you trust them completely and feel secure knowing the relationship is real? This is a sign that the honeymoon phase is starting to mellow down and turn into something more stable and real.
8. How often do you laugh at something or spend fun time together?
The best thing about being in a relationship is the fun things you do with your partner. This could be watching your favorite movie series, cooking together, going to the beach, or even gardening. Everything’s exciting, even the most mundane tasks like doing the laundry or washing the dishes together!
As your honeymoon phase starts to wane, one or both of you may start to take a back seat, especially with chores or routines. You or your partner may be busy with work, or exhausted after a long hard day.
Observe your relationship if it changes into something boring or predictable. If you’re wondering how long does the honeymoon phase last, it lasts for as long as even the most boring chores seem exciting and fun when done together.
9. How often do you use your phones when you’re together?
Using our phones or texting while we’re with our partners is a bit annoying and rude unless you’re using it because something came up. When you see your partner texting or playing games on their phone, what would you do or feel?
If one or both of you are comfortable sitting on the couch and surfing on your phones, instead of staring into your partner’s eyes, chances are, that’s the waning of the honeymoon phase.
10. The first fight… of many!
The first fight in a relationship is always an awkward thing. Of course, the making up after the first fight is sexy!
In the honeymoon phase, no one really fights at all. Both of you are eager to give in to the other partner’s wants and desires. But once that starts to cool off, real-life enters the picture. If one or both of you get annoyed with the other person, start missing your other friends, or even if you both have a big fight, that’s a good sign your honeymoon stage is about to end.
Is the waning of the honeymoon phase a bad thing?
Of course not! It definitely isn’t a bad thing.
The honeymoon phase is just the first stage of love, where both partners are still smitten silly and desperate to win over each other over. But after that, real-life always seeps in, and so do your true colors!
And honestly, being on your best behavior and changing who you are overnight, just to please someone in their presence can get tiring after a while!
So as good as the honeymoon phase is, you really need to be thankful when it ends because that’s when true love begins.
What to do when the honeymoon phase ends
If you’re not prepared for the honeymoon phase to end, it can be extra difficult to deal with. These are the most important things for you to remember when that fresh excitement starts to fizzle out.
1. Reassess how you feel
The honeymoon phase being over does NOT mean that your relationship is getting worse and worse. But at this point, you have to reassess how you feel about the person.
Do you still see a future with them and enjoy their company, or has most of your affection faded? Be honest with yourself.
This is where the rose-tinted glasses disappear, and you see your partner for who they truly are, flaws, warts, and all. So if you still genuinely feel something, you should know by this point forward.
2. Figure out what brings about arguments
We’re sure you’ve noticed that you’re arguing more and more as your honeymoon phase fizzles out. Your job is to determine what the arguments are about.
Are they things you just are getting used to about the person, or are they significant and repetitive, and can change your opinion of them?
While arguments are expected when the honeymoon phase ends, you need to use it as an eye-opener.
3. Remember that it’s normal
Don’t forget that the honeymoon phase is not supposed to last the entire relationship. It’s entirely normal and expected for it to end and for you to be faced with a different kind of relationship that’s more comfortable and caring.
Even if we want the honeymoon phase to last a lifetime, that’s not what a relationship is primarily about. It’s normal for this stage to fade, and it shouldn’t be the end of your relationship *unless your gut tells you otherwise*.
4. And it’s not the end of your relationship
The honeymoon phase ending does not mean your partner is caring less for you. It’s not the end of your relationship, in fact, it is the beginning. Just remember that every couple settles into a comfortable norm instead of being excited and giddy all the time.
If your relationship settles into a warm fire instead of a burning passion for one another, that’s okay. This is normal in a relationship, and in fact, this is more real than the lust-driven stage of the honeymoon phase.
5. Think of the things that made you two happiest
When you’re arguing after the honeymoon phase has ended, it can be easy to forget about why you were happy with them in the first place. Think back to those things and try to make them happen again.
It’s frankly easy to go back to the honeymoon phase and rekindle the spark you once had for one another. All it takes is a few romantic gestures to get yourselves back to that phase, even if it’s just for a while.
6. Use the conflict as a means to get to know them
Instead of seeing these conflicts as a bad thing, take them as a learning opportunity. You can find out a lot about a person by what makes them upset and how they solve issues. You’ll be able to tell if they’re really a person you want to be with for life.
Similar to what we said earlier on conflict, instead of being afraid of conflict, use it as an opportunity to deepen your connection with them.
After all, fights can either draw you together or apart. The choice is yours which would you’d choose.
7. Reestablish why you’re with them
Think about why you’re with them in the first place. Did they win you over and now they stopped doing anything kind, or are they still the same person but your feelings have changed? Reestablish why you’re with them and what you like most.
If you find your honeymoon phase ending, remind yourself of all the reasons why you’re with them or are attracted to them. When this stage ends, this is when being in love with them becomes more of a choice rather than an addiction.
8. Set your expectations right away
Have a discussion. Talk about the state of your relationship and how it’s beginning to be serious, and then set your expectations. Don’t let them get away with stopping every nice thing they used to do in the honeymoon phase.
While your partner can’t be a hundred percent consistent all the time, they need to know at least that you have certain expectations.
When you lay your expectations and standards, you are aware of what you both need and want in a relationship – even past the honeymoon phase.
9. Communicate. Communicate. Communicate.
People’s biggest mistake in their relationships is hiding how they feel about it. Open up and talk about how you realize the honeymoon phase has ended, and you want to make sure they know you’re still happy. This might sound like an overrated piece of advice, but there’s a reason communication is at the heart of relationships.
If the honeymoon phase is about to end and real life is slipping into your relationship, it’s even more crucial to discuss this with your partner. Express your feelings and listen to what one another has to say.
10. Spice things up
This can be in the bedroom or just in general. After the first few months, you may start to fall into a routine with them. And while this is normal, it can make you feel like things are becoming stale and your partner is losing interest.
Making things new again can bring back that initial spark. Just because this exciting phase has ended, it doesn’t mean the sparks have to die altogether.
You can both choose not to be complacent with your relationship, so it doesn’t feel too much of a routine.
11. Accept your partner’s flaws
This is when you realize the other person isn’t flawless and you stop expecting them to be. And they’ll see your flaws, and you’ll cease hiding them.
It’s more romantic to show your flaws and be appreciated for them than to be expected to be flawless *no one is*. To develop a long-lasting relationship with your partner, you must be able to accept your partner for who they are. And as a couple, you should also learn how to embrace the end of the honeymoon phase.
12. Identify what your relationship will truly be like
The reality of the relationship kicks in, and you can imagine your life with this person when the honeymoon phase is over. Your significant other was probably on their best behavior at first, but now is the opportunity to discover who they are.
Their non-impressive behavior is telling. Do you appreciate spending time with them at home on a Tuesday night as much as a brief date? Sooner or later, you’ll get a clearer understanding of who this person is and what your life together will be like.
13. Be OK with your changes in your sex life
Less frequent sex is the most common symptom of the honeymoon phase. When it comes to long-term relationships, this is a relatively common event that affects almost all couples at some point.
It is a period that is intended to end, as opposed to continuing. And come on, who has the time for that much sex for the rest of their lives?
14. Remain positive and consistent
Couples are usually at their best during the honeymoon phase. You’re more likely to respond to texts quickly and stay wrapped in each other’s arms all the time. But what happens next?
It’s a good indicator if your partner keeps up the positive behavior after the first lovey-dovey sensations fade. To maintain a stable relationship, consistency is vital.
The early phases of a relationship are excellent, but they can only last so long. So pay attention to your partner’s post-honeymoon phase behavior. You may have found “The One” if they continually improve the relationship and are consistent.
15. Celebrate the new phase of your relationship
Try not to worry about when the honeymoon phase will end, and enjoy it while you can. This does not signify the end of your relationship unless you recognize that you were only attracted to this person due to the physical attraction and butterflies you had when you first met them.
There are good relationships where the end of the honeymoon period is only the beginning. It will be stronger than any physical desire or butterflies in your stomach as you get to know one other, go through ups and downs together, and make more memories.
So, how long does the honeymoon phase last?
Depending on your relationship and how comfortable you are with one another, the honeymoon phase can last for a couple of months, and sometimes, even a year or more.
Some relationships take longer than others for this phase to end because of the several other factors we’ve talked about here. But you need to remember that the end of this particular stage doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship. In fact, it is only the start.
The honeymoon phase is important in any relationship, but it doesn’t define it. Your relationship is just as genuine even after you surpass this stage.