If you want to know how to get to know your crush, the good news is that it’s easier than you think. Move closer to them and find out who they really are.
When you first meet someone and decide that you like them a little bit in that way, it’s important to learn more about them. Then, you can work out whether you want to carry on being around them or not. The thing is, learning how to get to know your crush can be tricky if you’re not sure where to start.
Handily, it’s not as difficult as it first seems. It’s really about plucking up the courage to just go for it and ask questions! You can only get to know someone by spending time with them. Perhaps being a little silly and getting to know the real person underneath the mask we all wear at first.
It could be that you simply don’t want to carry on being around them after you find out more about them. Crushes can simply be for very vague reasons.
Perhaps you like their eyes and you start to fixate on that detail. But, when you get to know them, you realize they’re not all that at all. Or, maybe you find out that they’re really interesting and your crush deepens.
Before you get to know them properly, if you’re wondering how to talk to them and impress them in the first place, use this guide on how to talk to your crush and the secrets to make them fall for you first!
Don’t judge a book by its cover!
If you have a crush on someone, you might be keen to jump straight in there and take it further. Wait a minute! What about actually getting to know them as a friend first?
If you’re basing this on looks alone, you have no idea what they are like on the inside. Believe us, some of the most attractive people on this planet have nothing going on between their ears which leads to a very boring relationship!
Be with someone who you find attractive, but someone who you also find interesting, even fascinating. At the very least, be with someone who makes you laugh! That will always make your relationship in the future much stronger and more enjoyable.
Otherwise, it’s doomed to fail at some point as you start to become frustrated and unsatisfied.
I had a huge crush on someone in my first job. I made every excuse possible to be in the same place as them whenever possible. That sounds stalker-ish, I know. It really wasn’t like that. They were stunningly attractive too, to the point where I turned to jelly whenever I saw them. Not attractive on my side, I know.
When I finally plucked up the courage to initiate a conversation, do you know what I found? They might have been wonderful to look at, but they were the most annoying, irritating person on the planet. Seriously. Every comment that came out of their mouth annoyed me.
My attraction dwindled pretty quickly after that!
Why you should get to know your crush
It’s obvious, isn’t it? If you have a crush, get to know them a little before you decide whether you actually want to dedicate your time and dreams to being with this person. If they’re horrible on the inside, you should be turning your attention towards someone who stimulates your mind as well as your hormones!
You’ll find out whether you vibe together too. Maybe they’re great but you just don’t gel very well. In that case, you’re better off putting it down to experience and moving on. Sure, you can still say “hi” to them when you see them and perhaps even dream of how good-looking they are, but you know that it’s not meant to be anything more than that.
Basically, learning how to get to know your crush helps you to stop wasting your time on a relationship that is all looks and no substance.
How to get to know your crush
You’re probably nodding along but wondering one simple thing – how to get to know your crush. We hear your problem, and we have several steps in response!
1. Make use of social media
Back in the days before Facebook and Instagram, how did people actually get to know about the people they were crushing on? They actually had conversations! How terrifying! Yes, we have become hooked on finding out smaller details via our smartphones and tablets. As weird as that sounds, you can and should use that to your advantage.
If you’re friends with this person on social media, have a quick look through their timeline. See if you can gauge what type of person they really are.
A word of warning, most people inflate the quality of their lives on social media to impress others. Take whatever you find with a certain amount of salt pinching, and use it in conjunction with a few other steps I’m going to mention.
2. Ask around about them
Do you have mutual friends? If so, why not subtly drop this person into the conversation and see what response you get? If they say “oh they’re such a great person,” you know you might be onto something. But if they say “oh no, they’re terrible,” you can stop wasting your time!
If you have a close friend who knows this person, you could also enlist their help in setting up a meeting where you can actually have a face to face conversation with your crush. Terrifying, we know. If you’re going to have a possible relationship with this person at some point in the future, you do need to be able to talk to them!
3. Watch how they interact with other people
When you’re close to this person, not necessarily talking to them yourself, watch how they treat and respond to others.
For instance, in a cafe or restaurant, are they respectful to the waiting staff? Do they put other people down behind their backs?
Remember, how someone treats others is a reflection of how they will treat you. This is one of the big points in how to get to know your crush, albeit indirectly.
4. Actually have a conversation
Yes, terrifying. We’ve already established that. You need to do this, and you CAN do it! Conversations can begin from the smallest comments, even the weather or complimenting something they’re wearing!
Actually having a conversation with this person is the single best way to get to know them a little more.
It also shows them that you’re an approachable, fun, and interesting person. Who knows, they might start crushing on you and inadvertently try to get to know you better too!
5. Work the mutual interest angle when learning how to get to know your crush
Find out if you have anything in common. Perhaps you both support the same sports team, you both like fitness, or maybe you’re from the same school.
Find something you have in common. Then, talk about that. If you’re not sure if you have anything in common, again, use social media to find out or ask those people you’re both friends with and discover some information you can use!
6. Approach the situation as though you’re speaking to a friend
You’re bound to be nervous. That’s completely normal. The best way to get around this is to view them as a friend and nothing else.
Okay, they might be very attractive. Try not to focus on that too much.
Who knows, you might find yourself in the same situation we mentioned before – they look good and they turn your legs to jelly but when you talk to them? Not so much. When you have a conversation you might find them completely unattractive!
7. How to get to know your crush? Bide your time
Don’t be pushy. If you do this, you’re more likely to come over as strange. That’s not the look you’re going for! Treat every encounter as casual. Be careful not to ‘like’ photos on their social media from five years ago. That’s a sure-fire giveaway!
Also, don’t suddenly turn up everywhere they tag themselves in on social media. That’s going to start looking pretty stalker-ish after a while. Just speak to them when you get the chance to do so and bide your time. Then, everything will look and feel more natural. Remember, if it’s meant to be, it will be!
8. Listen carefully to what they say
When you pluck up the courage to speak to your crush, really listen to what they have to say. Everyone loves a listener, and not that many people are actually that good at it!
It also allows you to remember the smaller details of your chat. Then, digest it at a later date and figure out how you feel about it all.
9. What is their body language saying?
It’s easy to take people at face value and think they’re being genuine when they’re not, or think they’re being rude when they’re actually just shy.
The best way to understand hidden agendas is to read body language. Are they holding your gaze and smiling? Are they looking away, do they look shifty? What is their body actually doing? Are they holding their arms across their body in defense?
Body language can say far more than words and will give away a liar in the blink of an eye. Check out the body language your crush is sending your way. Use it to read between the lines.
10. Fake confidence
We just mentioned faking confidence and that’s something you absolutely have to do. You want them to be interested in you and to feel the first flourishes of a crush in your direction.
So, you have to show yourself for who you really are. Yes, you need to be yourself! Don’t be tempted to be someone you’re not to impress them, you’re more than enough as you are.
If you’re not feeling confident or you’re a little nervous, just take a deep breath, tell yourself that you rock, and go for it!
11. Ask quirky questions
We’re talking about ‘would you rather’ types of questions here. Then, you get to learn more about them and get a real glimpse into their personality. Also, by asking quirky questions, you’re showing them your fun and flirty side too, so it works well in terms of getting them to understand what you’re about also.
Something like “would you rather eat the best cake in the world every day or be rich?” That’s a very random example, but you can understand how these quirky questions make people laugh but also show you their personality too.
12. Have a deep conversation
A little earlier, we talked about striking up a random conversation simply by telling them you like something they’re wearing or the weather.
But, at some point, if you really want to learn how to get to know your crush, you’re going to have to have a deep conversation. No, we’re not talking about telling them that you like them, not yet anyway – we’re talking about deep subjects.
Now, avoid anything too political or religious at this stage because they’re conversations that could cause them to take offense or make them uncomfortable.
But, if there is a news story going around, that’s a good conversation starter because you can ask them what they think. Then, you can delve deeper to find out their views. Maybe you’re compatible, maybe you’re not, but you’ll find out.
Learning how to get to know your crush really isn’t that difficult. At the end of the day, they’re just a person, the same as you!
So, if you’re wondering how to get to know your crush, we have an answer for you. Take a deep breath, fake as much confidence as you need, and talk to them!