How to Pick Nicknames for Each Other
When you are in a relationship, sometimes you develop cute pet names for your partner. But is this a good thing to do? Read on to see if it is or not.
Cute pet names are one of the next steps in any relationship, isn’t it?
While some people might cringe if they hear cheesy pet names like “Lovey Boo” or “Schnookums,” others find it to be very cute and intimate. It doesn’t matter if it is cuddly-dums or loving-pumps, it’s all cute in love.
Calling your partner names like that can bring fun into the relationship.
It also gives you something to bond over as a couple. So, even if you might not like it, a cute pet name for your partner might be very beneficial to your relationship.
For example, there you are, just cuddling with each other one evening and your lover babbles out a very funny barely pronounceable word, most probably based on your antics or body parts.
There’s one moment of silence, followed by a chortle of laughter or a grin of embarrassment.
And the whole story unfolds with that little word, and in that quiet moment of cuddly awkward love, you are officially given a pet name.
The world of cute pet names and the unique part they play
Pet names. They’re so amusing and yet, so cute. You don’t want your friends to know your pet name, so you’re probably going to tell your lover something like, “Just don’t call me ‘Perky Nips’ in front of my friends, okay, Hungo?”
The truth is, When you think about it, pet names have more of a meaning than just lovers’ babble.
It’s all about adding a new level of identity and intimacy to a special someone, to set apart the relationship between two people. It’s a secret name, and a unique one that you and you alone give your partner!
What science says about cute pet names
Believe it or not, the science of cute pet names has been studied, but not very much. The only evidence and studies that have been done are from some surveys. But even those don’t capture all the people’s feelings about cute pet names.
The general consensus from the scientific studies says that pet names for each other can be a very good thing in a relationship, but only if both partners like it.
A director of family studies at the University of St. Thomas in St. Paul, Minnesota approaches studying pet names from an anthropological perspective. According to her research, a relationship is a little “culture” of its own. The terms of endearment, or pet names, are an important factor when it comes to working through conflicts.
All romantic relationships will have conflicts at some point in time. So, these pet names allow the partners to use humor and playfulness when things get tense between the two of them. If people can’t laugh at themselves and with each other in a relationship, then it’s less likely that they will sustain that relationship in a positive way over time.
Another one of her studies looked at the relationship between pet names and marital satisfaction. They concluded that these cute names are sort of like a way to communicate “insider” information to each other that no one else knows. It’s almost like their own little secret together.
The longer that people are together, the more likely the cute pet names are to stick. They become so ingrained in the partners that it becomes a special norm in their relationship. They almost take it for granted.
What is normal for cute pet names?
Dr. Pepper Schwartz, a professor of sociology at the University of Washington in Seattle, co-authored a book called The Normal Bar. They collected data from almost 100,000 people through an online survey.
The things they looked at are anything related to relationship happiness, and this also included cute pet names. They surveyed people from all across the world, but they only analyzed the information they got from the United States.
They found that about two-thirds of the couples used pet names in their relationships. In addition, if people rated their relationship satisfaction as “very happy,” 76% of those people admitted to using cute pet names.
Dr. Schwartz also argued that she thinks pet names are important for admiration and affection in the relationship.
It’s kind of a “shorthand” for couples. If some couples reported not getting enough affection in the relationship, they said that using cute names made up for the lack of hearing compliments and getting affection from their partner.
Other experts, like sexologist Ian Kerner agrees with Schwartz’s findings. He says that the use of cute pet names is very healthy in a relationship as long as both partners are comfortable with the names.
Another interesting finding is that in relationships that use cute pet names, they feel like something is wrong when their partner uses their given, legal name. This is because it sounds so cold and impersonal compared to their personal and unique pet name.
Why not just call your lover by their name?
Many single people ask this question and wonder aloud. But the answer’s pretty simple. When you like something like a soft toy or someone like a lover, you want to cuddle and sink into that person or thing.
You feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and you’re filled with joy and happiness. Your instincts recreate a scenario where you feel like a blissful baby, lost for words, and feel euphoric and helpless, just like how you babble when you’re drunk!
At times like these, you end up saying something out loud. And in most cases, it’s got something to do with your lover’s body parts during afterplay or the way your lover makes you feel. It may be a stupid word, but it’s still filled with all the emotions that you could sum up in that happy moment.
Cute pet names and love
Pet names are a lot like general nicknames, but in this case, it’s a lot more personal and special. It’s something that defines your relationship. It may be from a friend, a sibling, or a lover.
The fact that this person considers you special enough to give you a name that’s personal and has special importance between you both reveals a lot about how special you are to them.
And all these names are a part of the complicated language of love. The language of love is universal, but it comes in several dialects. One couple who finds it cute to call each other “num-nums” may find another couple calling each other “honey-pot” stupid!
Cute pet names and men
A man may feel that pet names are a feminine thing, so even if he was using any special words to call his girl, he may refrain from using them in public.
Let’s just say, a man feels like he’s wearing frilly pink skirts when he’s caught using pet names in public. That’s usually the case unless the guy has some macho-stud nickname for his woman like ‘girlie’, ‘babe’ or ‘chick,’, which is comfortably used even in front of others.
On the other hand, women become real babies when it comes to love and cute pet names. They tend to baby talk a lot more than men. And they don’t mind doing that in public either. Well, that’s in most cases anyway.
There are no sources here, but it seems like women started calling their men by a pet name, and this trend eventually rubbed off on men. After all, women are a lot better connected to their inner child and feelings of love than men.
Cute pet names and ex-lovers
Men and women apart, pet names themselves to have their problems. And there’s one big rule of pet names you must always remember.
There are a few pet names that are universal, like ‘honey, ‘baby,’ and ‘cutie,’ and there are a few pet names that are non-transferable.
If you’ve called someone by a particular name earlier, there’s no way you’re ever supposed to use the same pet name with your present partner. Not only would it feel weird, but it’s also like calling out an ex’s name in bed, don’t you think?
Pet names are personal
It’s always easy to go with widely accept names like ‘sweetheart’ and ‘honey,’ but you have to remember that a cute pet name is personal and special.
If you still don’t have a pet name for each other, don’t worry about it. Pet names tend to just pop up out of the blue. And when you hear a pet name, you’ll know. Don’t force a pet name out just to fit in. Wait for it to come naturally.
What cute pet names can do for a relationship
Now that we know what the scientists say about cute pet names in a relationship, let’s look at some more specific details about what they can do.
1. They help us feel free
When we are growing up, society tells us how we are supposed to express ourselves. And one of those options is using pet names as adults. It allows us to engage in role-playing with our partners and freely show how we feel about them.
The cute pet names also make the quality of our communication with them better and make us feel closer. As a result, both people feel completely accepted by their partners just the way they are.
2. They make us more attracted to our partner
When two partners get closer and share more personal things and moments with each other, they can end up creating their special language, even beyond cute pet names. This could include inside jokes or anything else that is specific to their relationship.
This makes us not only more emotionally bonded, but it also can increase physical attraction to our partner too. It’s a sign that they are emotionally satisfied with the way their relationship is going. They can also be comfortable enough to be playful but relaxed.
3. A form of baby talk
Some anthropologists think that some people need baby talk in their relationships, and cute pet names are one form of that. The need for this baby talk stems from our childhood. Mothers use it a lot when they talk to their babies, and it helps form connections and trust between parent and child.
So, when adults use pet names, it subconsciously triggers these childhood memories. When this happens, it evokes feelings of love and protection with their partner.
4. Should show respect to your partner
Even though funny or cute pet names can bond us and make us closer to our partners, you have to be careful with what you call them. The name should be a positive one, and your partner should like being called it.
For example, studies show that women don’t like being called stereotypical pet names like “Babe” or “Baby doll.” Of course, this is unique to each person, but it’s better to talk to your loved one first and ask whether or not they like the name you call them.
Cute pet names are not for everyone
For some couples, the pet names just don’t work for them. Nor does the baby talk. The reason for this is, as we mentioned above, sometimes people associate it with their parents. And let’s face it, no one wants a romantic relationship with their parents!
Some experts even argue that cute pet names won’t necessarily kill your sex life, but they could hurt it. Another reason for this is that there could be embarrassment associated with certain names. A name could sound like an infant’s name or could just be absolutely ridiculous sounding.
All said and done, pet names are special and romantic to most people but maybe not to everyone. It’s personal and no lover really cares if others don’t get what the word means. As long as lovers feel special and cared for, cute pet names are here to stay!