Once upon a time, only boys could ask out girls. But we're living in a time that doesn't require a girl to just sit around waiting for the guy to ask her out. If you want to ask a guy out, then all you have to do is prepare in advance, exude confidence, and react appropriately.
PART 1 - Preparing to Ask a Guy Out
1. Ask yourself: What's the worst thing that can happen?
The worst thing that can happen would be that he will respectfully say "no" if he is a decent person. Keep this in mind and then prepare yourself to ask him out. Remember this will help you endure the pain in case this happens.
2. Find the right place and time to ask him out.
Make the opportunity to ask him in a casual, low-pressure setting. It might be in the hallway, at the water fountain, on a sports field after practice, or wherever else you usually see him. Pick an isolated place, as well as a time when he is likely to be relaxed. Here are some things to keep in mind when you choose the right time and place:
- Get a little privacy. You do not have to be completely alone, but you will both probably be more comfortable if you can do the actual asking in a semi-private space. People may not respond honestly when their friends are hanging around and they feel pressured, so some privacy can help you get a real answer.
- Do not make a big deal about pouncing on the first available second of alone time. If you're both together in a group, lower your voice to half volume and say, "Hey, could I talk to you alone for a second?" and walk a few paces away.
- Do not give off creepy vibes. Things like silently standing in front of his locker every morning, calling him then hanging up over and over, or constantly asking other people about him may come off as creepy--and something a stalker may do.
- Give your crush some space. Do not follow him around in real life or on-line. A little recon is fine, but following his every move gets into an unhealthy obsession.
- Pick a time and place that makes sense. Asking him out after drama rehearsal may be perfect, a 1:30 a.m. text may not be.
3. Have a date in mind.
If it's your first time asking this guy out, you'll be a lot more confident if you invite him to a specific activity. It spares you the stress of coming up with something to do while you're on the actual date, and won't leave you saying "Uhhh... I don't know" when he asks what the plan is. Here are some ideas to get you started:
- Don't think too hard about negative thoughts like 'he will laugh at me', 'he will reject me', 'he will friend-zone me' etc. Remember that guys feel and think the same way when they approach a girl which is the main reason why so many guys exist in the so-called 'friend-zone'. The truth is you will find out only after asking, muster up some courage, ask him out. You can do it! You may be surprised to find how they would react as most guys are quite easy to talk to as compared to girls.
- Plan a classic date. There are some tried-and-true activities to do together for dates:
- Dinner: at a restaurant, or at home with takeout, or something you made.
- Activity: seeing a movie, going to a concert or show, visiting a museum, comic book convention, a hike, a baseball game or another interest you two have in common.
- Pick something that specifically appeals to your target date. Sometimes you may not sure if you share common interests, or you are not sure if you like something he likes. Find out what he enjoys, and give it a try. Very often this is a great way to show you are really interested in finding out more about what he likes, and willing to try something new for his sake!
4. Have an exit strategy.
Though you should focus on the best case scenario (a resounding yes!) instead of the worst, you do need to be aware that there's a teeny-tiny chance that the guy won't say yes. Maybe he likes someone else, or maybe he was startled and only thought of you as a friend -- either way, you'll get through it. But if you want to make the most of the situation and not lose your cool, you should come up with a Plan B in case things don't go as planned.
- Come up with a reason to leave in advance. Whether it's saying that you have to study for a test, get to your next class, or that you're late to meet up with a friend, it'll sound better if you've prepared it.
- Come up with something else to ask in case you can tell he's not feeling it. If you approach him and he's clearly not in the mood to get asked out, think of something else you can ask him so it doesn't look weird that you came up to him -- ask for the math homework or if he knows when the home baseball team is playing that day.
PART 2 - Other Strategies for Asking a Guy Out1. Use the "extra ticket" trick.
Buy two tickets to see a movie, a concert, a stand-up comedian, or anything that you think will interest the guy. Then, when you start talking to the guy, casually mention the event and add, "Ugh, my friend completely bailed on me..." if the guy doesn't take the bait and ask to come, just say, "Is there any chance you'd like to go? I've been dying to see this show, and I think it'll be fun." Make it sound very casual, like you thought of it on the spot.
- This is a perfect low-pressure way to ask a guy out.
- However, be careful. If you are too vague on your intentions, your guy might think he is going as a friend, not as a date.
Going on a group date is another low-pressure way to see if there are any sparks between you two. If you and your guy are hanging out with a group of couples, or even just a group of friends, then it'll feel less like a date and more like hanging out. Just tell the guy that you and a bunch of friends are going bowling, to the movies, to dinner, or whatever, and ask if he'd like to come along.
- A group date can help him know that you'll be asking him out but neither of you will feel the same pressure you'd feel if you were going at it alone.
- If the group date goes well, then hopefully that will lead to a regular date.
- Try not to be too vague on your intentions. A group date may be indistinguishable from a group of mixed-gender friends hanging out. Your date may not know he is on a date and leads to awkward situations.
3. Ask him out to a guy-friendly activity.
Pick something that the guy you have in mind and his friends like to do, as long as it sounds fun to you, and ask the guy to join you. (Rather than something women tend to enjoy more, like going to get nails done!)
- Find out what he likes to do first. Although there are activities that typically appeal to men more than women, you might be surprised.
- If going to the movies, try to pick a movie that has broad appeal. An action blockbuster movie might be a fun one for you both.
- Be sure you enjoy the activity, too. You do not want to end up always going to the local go-cart place because your guy thinks you like go-carts, but really you do not.
4. Ask him out through a note.
Put a note in the guy's locker, textbook, bag, or even sneak a note into his guitar case or another item that is important to him. Simply say, "Want to go out sometime?" and leave him your phone number. This works great with guys that you don't know very well, and it takes the pressure off. Not only is this an effective method, but it'll make the guy think that you're cute and a little bit creative.
- If you really want to be romantic about it, you can even ask him out through a letter, as long as it doesn't freak him out.