how to build trust
Trust is such a delicate and yet magical word in relationships.
If you can learn to trust your partner, you’d have a lover, a best friend, and a confidant all in one.
Trust can do so many happy things to a relationship, but the best thing it can do is bring both of you closer, avoid pain and hurt, and make both of you fall more in love with each other every single day.
Most people are afraid of revealing their true inner sides in love.
At first, the guy and the girl are scared to kiss, and then they’re scared to go to second base, and then to the third.
Once they get past that, life gets a bit manageable and both of you start to open up with each other.
The body exploration is followed with drunken hangovers and awkward moments like untimely burps and dirty underwear. And then comes the first snore which is quite funny.
And yeah, we have the first fart. This is a difficult barrier to break, farting in front of a lover, and don’t we all know this. Once we’re comfortable with the fart, there’s really no stopping it!
It’s all funny and nice. But do you realize the one thing that matters here?
Every single incident that happened here didn’t happen just like that. Every single step took a little bit of trust that eventually accumulated into the comfort of the first noisy fart.
Once you know how to build trust in a relationship, the relationship enters the next little stage and gets that much happier and relaxed.
But somewhere along the way, people get comfortable physically and in a few other aspects, and soon enough, that’s where the comfortable and relaxed stage stops. At some point in a relationship, you stop sharing a few details with your partner. And that’s just wrong, so wrong. For a relationship to be successful, that should never happen.
Why is trust so important?
If you think about it, why are you afraid of sharing all your thoughts with your partner? Probably because a few of your thoughts are immoral, too dirty, too stupid or perhaps, you’re afraid your partner will judge you negatively or even get hurt emotionally.
Simply put, you don’t trust your partner and your relationship enough to share your deepest, darkest secrets because you don’t trust your lover enough to unburden your thoughts or deeds onto their shoulder.
Being judged in a relationship
Most of us are very guarded in a relationship, especially when it comes to matters that are taboo in a relationship. And we do that because we’re afraid our partner might judge us negatively.
You discreetly stare at someone across the street, you take a stolen glance at an underwear model, and you wonder what your old college sweetheart is doing right now, but you don’t reveal these thoughts to your lover because you don’t want your partner to look at you in a negative light.
You want to appear your best when it comes to fidelity and true love. But have you ever considered this, you partner does have the same straying thoughts on their mind at times too. It’s natural, we’re all human and to admire someone else is natural.
The loss of communication
As the years pass by, these little thoughts get more and more suppressed, and these stupid thoughts start to become a fantasy getaway. And all this starts only because you assumed the secret thought was too taboo to talk about in the relationship in the first place. You know the logic here, you tell a child not to touch something and walk out of the room, and that’s the first thing the child would want to touch.
So by hiding a few details about how you feel or what you think, you’re actually distancing yourself from your lover, and living more in your fantasy world of people-watching-and-desiring or wanting to spend time doing something else.
Understanding each other and trusting each other
If you can think something, don’t you ever wonder if your partner could think about something along the same lines too? But you’ll never find out until you talk about it.
But on the other hand, you could comfortably talk about a few things with your good friends, because you know you have nothing to lose. They’re your friends and they’d never judge you, even if you tell them you find someone other than your partner sexy or that you enjoy shopping more than spending time with your partner!
On the other hand, your partner too may be having similar conversations with their own friends. If you can trust your partner enough to be frank with them, you’d have a happier relationship with fewer insecurities and worries. It’s alright to want to do something by yourself at times, or give an appreciative glance at someone else whom you fancy.
Regaining trust after cheating in love
Sometimes, whether you want to or not, you may end up cheating on your partner. At times like these, regaining trust in a relationship takes a lot of time and patience. But as long as you communicate with each other about your thoughts and learn to be frank, your relationship would only grow stronger with time, and so would the trust in the relationship.
Three steps to building trust on a relationship
If you want to know how to build trust in a relationship, learn to be frank with your partner. Your partner is your lover, but they’re also supposed to be your best friend, a person who knows you and understands you better than anyone else in the whole world. Use these three steps to build trust in a relationship and it’ll go a long way in creating a happy relationship.
#1 Talk about the long term
Are you looking for a serious relationship with your lover? If you are, you’re obviously in for the long haul. So make plans for it too. Talk about building a bigger house, having a pet dog, or how both your lives would be ten or twenty years from now. By talking about the future, you’re reassuring your partner that you truly want to be with them and see them in your life even as the years and decades pass by.
#2 Be dependable
Being dependable is one of the biggest factors in knowing how to build trust in a relationship. If your partner asks you to get something on your way back to your place, do you get it or do you forget it? It could be the little things or it could be the big ones, but if you can be dependable, it makes all the difference in a happy relationship. Think Homer Simpson or Peter Griffin, you just can’t depend on them for anything, can you? So can you trust them in your time of need? Of course not.
#3 Talk about the people you fancy
This can seem awkward and weird, but this is one of the biggest factors in building trust in a relationship. One of the biggest insecurities in a relationship is the fear of a partner straying away into someone else’s arms or liking someone else secretly. But actually acknowledging that either of you can find someone else attractive, you’re not making it taboo anymore. And by being truthful about it, you can build trust in the relationship and improve communication too. We’ll find out more about how to do this in the next part on improving communication.
Now knowing how to build trust in a relationship is not a small feat, but it’s something that can make both your lives happier and stress free, as long as you know to communicate and understand how to build trust in love.
